[ back ]  Great Thinkers of Our Time?
  Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest:  
  Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever."  

  Mariah Carey:  
  "Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that but not with all those flies and death and stuff."

  Matt Lauer on NBC's Today show, August 22/1998:  
  "Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two, but can't remember what they are."

  David Dinkins, New York City Mayor, answering accusations that he failed to pay his taxes:  
  "I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law."

  Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking campaign:  
  "Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."

  Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward:  
  "I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body."

  Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, D.C.:  
  "Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country."

  Jason Kidd, upon his drafting to the Dallas Mavericks:  
  "We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees."

  Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents:  
  "I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president."

  Former French President Charles De Gaulle:  
  "China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese."

  A congressional candidate in Texas:  
  "That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it."

  Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle on the complex social issues behind the Los Angeles Riots:  
  "When I have been asked during these last weeks who caused the riots and the killing in L.A., my answer has been direct and simple: Who is to blame for the riots? The rioters are to blame. Who is to blame for the killings? The killers are to blame."

  Philadelphia Phillies manager Danny Ozark:  
  "Half this game is ninety percent mental."

  Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle:  
  "It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."

  General William Westmoreland:  
  "Without censorship, things can get terribly confused in the public mind."

  Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle at a fundraising event for the United Negro College Fund. He was attempting to quote the line "a mind is a terrible thing to waste":  
  "What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is."

  Former British foreign minister Ernest Bevin:  
  "If you let that sort of thing go on, your bread and butter will be cut right out from under your feet."

  Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle:  
  "I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix."

(6/16/1998) And just the other day, our boy Dan Quayle was quoted as saying that the Republicans would definitely nominate someone this time who would beat Bill Clinton. Of course the 22nd amendment precludes Bill from running again...


received from Matthias Miller / SciFi

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